You know you're owned by a Jack if... On March 07, 1997, Marilynn posted a message titled "You know you're owned by a Jack if..." on the JackForum. This thread of posts was so funny, Heather compiled them into one definitive list. So, it is my pleasure to forward to you ...

you send away to Daytona Florida for home made dog cookies but would never dream of baking cookies for your family.

you prepare wonderful and nutritous natural food for your dog, but your family would be lucky to get a slice of toast.

your food shopping cart always contains dog treats, dog toys and you feel obligated to buy groceries for the family.

the house becomes an ice box because you want to leave the door open so His Majesty can go in and out at will.

you pretend to ignore the fact that His Majesty is once again walking on the furniture and sleeping on the off white chair that you have asked him to repeatedly stay off.

you carry pictures of your JR and are goaded into finally showing pictures of your children.

you are constantly telling JR stories to the point where people wonder if your family is still alive.

you tell your husband "Oh yes, that pile in the back bedroom was done by that d--- cat.

all your other dogs never begged from the table, and this one eats off your fork.

all your other dogs kept off the furniture, and this one sleeps in your bed.

you didn't even WANT this mangy mutt, and now you carry her around like a baby.

your dog is getting married in April, and you haven't had a date since 1986.

you spend more time thinking as a dog than as a person.

you send back a steak in a restaurant because you can see right away that there won't be enough scraps for the dog.

your daughter in college accuses you of spending more time writing email to dog friends than to her --- and she's right.

your daughter goes off to college and you give the dog her pillow case because she likes the color.

you cheerfully throw away thousands in furniture and carpeting the dog has chewed on, but your son breaks 3 lousy windows and pays for it forever.

you send all the company home because the dog wants to go to bed.

the Jack catalogs come addressed to the dog, not you.

the dog gets a new collar every month, but your sneaker laces have knots in them.

your favorite attire are your Eddie and JRT sweatshirts.

you don't mind being "Grandma" to a dog, but let anyone else call you old and you deck them.

every time someone walks into your office you quick minimize the JackTable and pretend to be working on the Excel spreadsheet underneath.

you bitterly complain about the phone bill and accuse the telco of cheating you, when you know darn well you've been on the Net $58 last month.

you switch from a FREE Internet provider to one you have to pay because the free one wasn't fast enough for the dog.

everything that happens becomes a story for the JackTable.

your brother announces his wife is having a baby, and the first ones you tell are the dogs.

you make the best friends, have the most fun, and a whole new world opens up because of your Jack.

you are never unloved.

your decor is "Early Chewed On, with Pillow Stuffing Carpet".

your dog gets more email that all humans in the house, combined.

developing/improving your dog's website takes precidence over school, work, cleaning.

you haven't made an effort to meet anyone new in your own town, but have great friends all over the world.

the first thing you do when you get home from work (or up on Saturday) is check the Jack Table.

silence makes you extremely suspicious of what's going on downstairs.

you are known to anyone only as, "Wishbone's mom."

your mother-in-law says, "You guys don't need any kids. Heather already has her baby."

your grandparents don't make you clean up your dog's poop from their yard, but for everyone else's dogs, they do.

the first video camera you bought for the dogs pictures isn't high tech enough to get great pictures of your dogs for your web site so you buy another video camera, this one is 8mm, so then you buy the Snappy, etc., etc. All of this is bought after you buy the big, expensive computer with all the bells and whistles that you still don't know how to do anything more than surf the net and email. That's not to mention the monthly fees, etc. just so other people can see your dogs, and you can see theirs.

you spent more money on photos of your dogs than you ever did of your children.

a shopping spree is going to Petsmart!

your idea of acceptable decor is matching crates.

you use your 4 wheel drive in the summer more than in the winter.

you are excited when someone gives you a shovel for Christmas.

you have dnps (doggy nose prints) and muddy foot prints at least 4 feet up your sliding glass door.

you own more pairs of outdoor boots than the local shoe store.

your idea of shopping is to look in the Bean, Gander Mountain, Cabellas etc. catalogues.

no one who wears dark clothes will ride in your vehicle more than once.

your mother sends birthday cards and little red hand knit sweaters to the Russells on their birthday (yes, I have the world's most wonderful mother!!!)

your idea of decorating is purchasing matching crates.

you real really "rich" when the dog food supply is well stocked.

you get/give a shovel for Christmas.

you have potholders, t-shirts, key chains, checkbook covers, refrigerator magnets, artwork, greeting cards, etc. with Jack Russells on them.

relative solidity of dog-do is a suitable topic for discussion in mixed company.

you're willing to drive an hour in really bad weather to make it to a terrier trial, but can't be bothered to drive the 30 minutes to a friend's house for dinner or to visit.

half your laundry is dog blankets, sheets and beds (bonus points: Your dog was sick on them and you have to sneak into a laundromat at midnight to do the wash.)

you reach into your pockets for change and liver treats, dog kibble and pick-up bags fall out (bonus points: you've done this in a classy restaurant.)

you have a bad day and decide that your dog is the "best person" to talk it over with.

the sound of any liquid hitting the floor two rooms away at 3 a.m. is enough to launch you out of bed, but otherwise you can sleep through a ringing telephone, the alarm clock, a tornado or earthquake, etc.

you watch simply awful movies because JRs are either featured in a cameo scene or there's a 3-second camera shot during a crowd scene.

you know more about canine nutrition than human (and it shows).

you save every dog magazine you've ever bought.

you have extra dog collars and leashes on the walls, stripping combs on the sofa, dog beds strewn across all flat surfaces, kibble crud around the base of your cabinets, and a long line of drips from the water dish across carpet and wooden kitchen floors...and you don't care.

if you have important company coming and you ignore all the housekeeping in order to play with the dogs before they arrive.

there's dog hair in your ice cubes.

when you buy a new car, your main concern is how many crates you can fit into it, rather than the number of people it will seat.

when more time is spent reading True Grit and other terrier journals than reading newspapers or watching T.V.

you think nothing of getting up at 4:30 a.m. for a five-hour drive to a terrier trial or to go hunting, but complain bitterly if the boss schedules a meeting before your 8:30 a.m. start time.

you buy all your clothtese for any function by the number of pockets available and how they will look in a picture with sneakers and socks.

you buy mostly light color clothing, because it will show all the white hair less.

the only place you go on vacations are to Terrier Trials, hunting, or places that accept dogs.

your car has distinctive dnp's (dog nose prints) on all the windows (bonus points: your dog has been able to reach front windshield with at least 10 dnp's.)

you don't know people by name, but you can easily remember their dog's names, their dog's parents' names, entire pedigrees, number of natural hunting certificates, date of birth, etc.

your favorite purse is a fanny pack with kibble in it.

your nickname in the neighborhood sounds kind of Native American, "She-who-screams-at-dogs-like-wildwoman".

you sell two horses because then you have a free pasture in which to set up agility equipment for the Russells. (another true story)

every time you visit Yahoo, the only thing you type in the search field is "Jack Russell Terriers".

your idea of a "really fancy party" is the after trial barbecue held on the grounds.

you consider putting linoleum tile over the solid hardwood floors because ... well ... it would inconvenience the dogs to have the hardwood re-done (bonus points if you think that this is really "house beautiful".)

you spend 147 hours on the Internet one month ... all on Jack Russell Terrier sites.

you have tiny puppy biscuits in your pockets ... any pockets.

you're glad you bought the leather furniture ... because the mud just wipes off.

you can sit in a fancy restaurant with other JRT folk and during dinner talk unabashadly about abnormalities and "gore" of whelping ... managing to clear all the tables around you (true story!)

your idea of a "deluxe" motel accommodations is a ground floor room!

you arrive in the early morning of the day before the US National trial just to ENSURE that you get a ground floor room.

your idea of "shopping" is to visit all of the vendor booths at the US National Trial.

if, for the first time in your life (and it's a loooong one) you let your Jack sleep with you.

the kids page you because the dog threw up and you come right home. When the kids throw up, you tell them "Take some Pepto-Bismal and call me in a couple of hours."

on the 15 minute rush home because the dog threw up, you make three cell phone calls home to see how she is.

on one of those cell phone calls, you hold on while the kids feed the dog, play with the dog, give the dog cookies, and take the dog out so you can be sure she is ok.

when your coworkers ask how's your baby, they're talking about your puppy.

when you find pictures taken from magazines of JRT's in your mailbox at work.

when you tell the puppy, "Go tell your girl to take Mommie's boy outside for a wee", rather than telling your daughter to please take the puppy out.

if your home page is the JACK TABLE!

you buy a house in a place where you know no one so the dogs can have a place to hunt.

you buy a car that holds lots of crates and has 4-wheel drive to get in and out of wet fields.

you change careers in mid-life so that you can spend more time with the terriers.

Thanks to these JackForum contributors: Bridget, Dana, Grace, Heather, Judi, Liz, Lynn, Marilynn, Mary, Max, Robbye, Sascha, and Wendy.

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